I find summer hard. Here’s why.
Every summer since I’ve been old enough to care, summer has marked the end of something, and subsequently the beginning of something new.
In 2002, summer pronounced a firm end to the life I had lead in Bath with both of my parents, and the beginning of my life in Glasgow. Summer 2012, marked the end of my time at high school and the start of my college studies. 2015, the start of my university career and 2016?
This time next year I’ll (Hopefully) be graduating with hons from university, and although I may stay on to do my masters, I can’t shake the feeling that this is my last summer without any worries, because this time next year I won’t be an undergrad anymore. I will no longer be able to cling to the lazy student stereotype and I’ll have to… do something with my life, find a proper job and begin my ‘career’.
And this sounds so juvenile, I know that. But I’m struggling so hard at the moment with overwhelming pressure to be something, or at least be on the path to being something or someone.
Looking back, I always thought I’d have my career figured out by the time I neared the end of my education but I’m not even close. At nineteen I know deep down I have time, but simultaneously I just wish I had a clue where I was going and how on earth I’d begin to travel there.
And with this pressure, procrastination has paired. I’m finding it so hard to put passion into anything creative because all I can think about is how ultimately unprepared I am for what’s ahead. Which I know, is severely unproductive and useful.
I guess I just had to vent and post something to symbolise the end of my lack of productivity. Hopefully, now I can move on.
As always, the pressure is hard but all I can do is try.
That last part is really what you need to remember here: ALL you can do is try your hardest. It sounds stressful for you, but DO try and keep trying, you are not lacking productivity at all! H x
ReplyDeleteThanks love! Something we all need to remember - all you can do is you best!
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It doesn't sound juvenile at all. The world can seem like a very scary place. I remember how scared I was beginning my career. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry! All you can do is take it one step at a time. Give it a couple of years and I bet you will look back wondering what you were worrying about.
ReplyDeleteOn a total non relevant part, I live in Bath! Have done all my life!
Laura x x x
This is crucial time for you deciding, and managing your abilities. Productivity comes when you ready :) good luck :)
ReplyDeleteWe're not massive fans of the summer either and prefer the Autumn months. September is always kinda scary for everyone, whether going back to work, school or uni. At least it's on a downward track until Christmas xx
ReplyDeleteI think that happens to the best of us, whilst I was older when I was at univeristy and had already decided what I wanted to do after. I struggled to get rid of my student life stereotype, it took another out of university to let go of the student life
ReplyDeletePressure is always there throughout our lives but just because you'll be graduating next summer doesn't mean your whole life needs to change x
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie - my daughter graduates next summer too. It is a scary time, but just focus on the here and now and enjoy each day. Kaz xx
ReplyDeleteJust keep your thoughts of new beginnings in your mind, all life is exciting, even responsibility.x
ReplyDeleteThe world can be a very scary place but focus on the new beginnings and how many exciting times are ahead of you!
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about summer like this before, and maybe I should have...It isn't easy adulting but it's a new chapter with new adventures x
ReplyDeleteI graduated in July and I'm definitely struggling with what on earth I will do next. Family members (especially my mum) are definitely not helping this as they constantly ask me what am I going to do now and have been looking for jobs! Would love to hide for a while!
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